


A Deeper Connection

by son_of_a_bitch_spn_family



Series: Shadow Soulmates [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Gets Magic, Bring On The Pining, Canon Universe, Eventual Immortal Alec, I Love Toby, Jace is a good Parabatai, Lydia Is Lovely, M/M, Magnus is sassy, POV Alec, Season 1 rendition, Some Mindnumbingly Good Smut, Soulmates, Warlock Magnus Bane, things are complicated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 11:04:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18849796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family/pseuds/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family
Summary: Shadowhunters and downworlders alike all have their soulmates - the ones they're supposed to spend the rest of their lives with, the ones they're supposed to raise children with, the ones that their special blood sings for. The moment they meet their soulmate, a connection is established and the name is painlessly tattooed on their skin, never fading until their soulmates die. It's supposed to be clean cut and easy.It's not.~~~When 'Magnus Bane' curls in an elegant scrawl on the inside of Alec's right wrist, he panics.





	A Deeper Connection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TobytheWise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobytheWise/gifts).



> For the lovely, TobyTheWise, who is not only my fandom soulmate, but one of my favorite people! ❤ I hope you enjoy!

When  _ Magnus Bane  _ curls in an elegant scrawl on the inside of Alec's right wrist, he panics. 

 

The very first thing he does when he gets back to the institute is sneak into Izzy's room and steal some of her makeup; they're not quite the same skin tone, but it's not much of a noticeable difference. He tells no one, pretends like it isn't even there. Still, when he's alone, he rubs the makeup off and stares at the two words with a strange feeling in his chest. 

 

It's not that Alec doesn't know he's gay; he's known that for years - since the moment Izzy started talking about boys and he found himself agreeing, and when Jace talked about girls, he never did. But seeing that name - a  _ man's  _ name - on his wrist makes him feel nervous and excited all at once. The fact that said man is a Warlock - and not just  _ any  _ Warlock, but the High Warlock of Brooklyn - only adds to his nervousness. 

 

It's why he agrees to get a drink when Magnus calls him, but of course, the human embodiment of the absolute worst thing on this planet - also known as none other than Clary Fairchild - ruins that before it can even come to fruition. 

 

Alec has no idea why Jace likes her, why he's so fixated on her. She's pretty, sure, but she's not worth changing  _ everything.  _ And hell, Alec has checked the inside of Jace's wrist, but there's no name there, so he knows she isn't his soulmate. But for  _ whatever reason,  _ Jace cares about her, so Alec runs around Brooklyn trying to find her. 

 

When he finds her, it takes everything in him not to just toss her over his shoulder and  _ go home.  _ This little girl has effectively ruined his life in under a week, and anyone who can cause that amount of chaos without even trying does  _ not  _ need to be set loose around a bunch of Mundanes. Clary does not seem to think it's her fault.

 

“Just admit it, Alec,” she says, arching an eyebrow and crossing her arms, “you're in love with Jace.” 

 

Alec can feel his face contorting into a grimace, even as he feels a pinch in his chest. “You know nothing. You just show up and assume you know everything, but you  _ don't.  _ Give me your wrist.” 

 

Clary blinks at him, but lifts her wrists out to him, showing that they're blank. “Um, this is definitely not how I expected this conversation to go. Was kinda hoping for some gay-bisexual solidarity, but okay. Why do you need to see my wrists?” 

 

“When you meet your soulmate, their name will pop up on the inside of your wrist,” Alec mutters, reaching out to grasp her right wrist with his left hand, his right flipping over to show her his own blank wrist with the use of makeup. “Jace isn't on either of our wrists, so we're both out of luck.” 

 

“Wait,  _ what?  _ Soulmates?” Clary blurts, her eyes going wide. “What kinda  _ bullshit-”  _

 

Alec explains to the best of his abilities. He keeps it short, factual, not delving into how he feels about it personally. She listens with her mouth dropped open in blatant shock. 

 

Alec has grown with the knowledge, so he can only imagine how she takes learning it all at once. People who  _ aren't  _ Mundanes, those who have something else in their blood, they have more than just knowledge about a world hidden away. 

 

Shadowhunters and downworlders alike all have their soulmates - the ones they're supposed to spend the rest of their lives with, the ones they're supposed to raise children with, the ones that their special blood sings for. The moment they meet their soulmate, a connection is established and the name is painlessly tattooed on their skin, never fading until their soulmates die. It's supposed to be clean cut and easy. 

 

It's not. 

 

More often that not, those within the Shadow World don't actually find their soulmate. His mother has no name on her wrist, neither does his father. Then, there are the immortal people of the Shadow World. Warlocks and Vampires alike often have multiple soulmates, rarely ever existing at the same time, and they watch names come and go on their skin all the time. That's not including the people who find their soulmates and end up in a horrible situation - Jocelyn and Valentine, for example. 

 

Soulmates are set in stone. Once the connection is made, it doesn't fade until death, no matter how things end up. Some Shadowhunters think it's a blessing to find the person they're meant to be with forever, others think it's a curse and weakness full of fairytales and empty promises. 

 

There are many people who fall in love with someone who isn't their soulmate. Sometimes, it works out for the best. Sometimes, one of them finds their genuine soulmate and have to make a very hard decision. Either way, Shadowhunters grow up knowing that their soulmate is out there somewhere and they're not supposed to let it affect their work or their lives at all. 

 

Which is kind of difficult in Alec's situation. 

 

As far as Alec knows, no Shadowhunter and downworlder has ever been soulmates, but that could have easily been deleted from history. It's most likely happened - too big of a world not to - but it's definitely not something the Clave would broadcast. So, here Alec is, floundering and at a complete loss, and he has no idea what to do, a crush on his parabatai to question, and the worst girl on the planet to look after. 

 

Alec kind of wants a nap. 

 

What he gets instead is a kidnapped mundane and mundane-adjacent girl he  _ really  _ doesn't like, a parabatai who is pissed, and a panicked feeling that isn't going away because he  _ lost Clary again  _ \- he figures this alone is enough to dissuade him from ever wanting kids. 

 

He fights to make it right, to save her life and the mundane’s. When Simon is saved, Jace is especially angry with him, as if  _ he's _ the worst thing on the planet. While Alec believes that title belongs to Clary, Jace seems to apply it to Simon for whatever reason. If Alec is honest, he has more things to worry about that whatever weird love triangle they have going on between them. 

 

One major thing he has to worry about is asking for his help, and Alec is  _ terrified.  _ He would be a liar if he said he didn't want to see Magnus, but that doesn't mean he jumps at the chance. He's scared his name won't be on Magnus’ wrist; he's scared it  _ will.  _

 

He goes anyway, unable to help himself. 

 

It's good that he does, because Magnus seems to be struggling. When he holds his hand, Alec reads **_Alexander Lightwood_** on his skin and he's immediately breathless by it. 

 

Legends say that when two soulmates touch for the very first time, you get a jolt of pure warmth. It turns out that all the legends  _ are _ true. The moment their fingers clasp together, they both jolt and suck in a sharp breath of air. Alec shakily lifts Magnus up and supports him through helping Luke. 

 

After, when they're alone, Alec has no idea what to say about  _ anything. _ Magnus, however, seems to know where to start. 

 

“You saw my wrist?” Magnus murmurs, displaying it in case Alec hadn't. 

 

Alec swallows and nods. “Yeah, I- yeah. Are you just going to leave it on display?” 

 

“Silly Shadowhunter,” Magnus teases, lips curling up in amusement. “I'm a Warlock, remember? I have it spelled so only I and my soulmate can read it.” 

 

“Oh,” Alec mumbles. 

 

“You, however, have yours hidden,” Magnus says, nodding to Alec's seemingly empty wrist. “At first, I thought it blank, but I do know my makeup.” 

 

“It's, um, Izzy's,” Alec explains, clearing his throat and awkwardly shifting his wrist out of view. “It's- I'm not sure how to- what to-” 

 

Magnus drifts closer, lifting a finger and hovering it over Alec's lips. “Relax, Alexander. I'm not going to demand anything from you.” 

 

That makes Alec feel  _ slightly  _ better. Only slightly though. It's just that… well, Magnus is so  _ pretty,  _ and Alec's heart races every time they're in the same room, and his name feels hot on the inside of Alec's wrist. He thinks, in a vague dazed state, that maybe it would be easier if Magnus  _ did  _ demand something. 

 

“Have you- am I the first?” Alec blurts, blinking rapidly when Magnus snaps his fingers, giving his fidgeting fingers a glass to hang onto. 

 

Magnus smiles softly. “I have lived centuries, darling. Yours is just the first in many years, but not the first in my long life.” 

 

“Did they all work out?” Alec whispers, staring down into his glowing drink, a worry gnawing in his gut. 

 

“I know you Shadowhunters believe in loving one and loving them hard,” Magnus replies conversationally, slowly pacing towards his balcony, his eyes going distant, “but for the immortal, it's never as simple as that. One thing we all have in common though, none of us are guaranteed a perfect love story.” 

 

Alec watches Magnus walk slowly around the room, looking as if he's floating. It takes him a long time to answer, his heart in his throat. “So, what you're saying is you're used to things not working out?” 

 

“You could say that.” Magnus suddenly whirls around, his rings glinting as he glides one hand through the air. “However, soulmates or no, when two people find something together, it would be just plain rude to ignore it.” 

 

“Are Warlocks always this cryptic?” Alec asks warily, feeling like he's experiencing emotional whiplash. 

 

Magnus smiles at him, eyes bright as he scans him from head to toe and back up again, their gazes catching. “I'm being coy, Alexander; there is a difference.” 

 

“I- I just- I don't know.” Alec sits his glass down on the coffee table, breaking eye contact. “I'm not- this isn't me. There's too much, we shouldn't, and we don't even know each other.” 

 

“As I said before, I demand nothing from you.”

 

“Then why are you- why do you keep looking at me like that? Like- like  _ that.”  _

 

Alec is struggling not to fidget; he breaks in seconds under Magnus’ gaze. He pushes his hands together, fumbling with his own fingers, feeling like he can't breathe. Magnus is looking at him like he's something interesting, like he really doesn't want to look away, like he'd like to come closer and touch. Alec has never been looked at like this before, not by someone he can't tear his gaze away from. 

 

Humming quietly, Magnus takes a sip of his drink without a flinch, eyeing Alec over the rim. He curls it close to his chest and moves closer in such a way that it almost seems accidental. If Alec wasn't aware of Magnus’ every twitch, he'd be surprised to find him right in front of him seconds later. Magnus just keeps  _ looking  _ at him, staring and staring, and Alec is locked into place with a strange mixture of terror and the uncharted territory of  _ want.  _

 

“It has been many years since I felt like this. Even with past names on my wrist, I have continued on feeling closed off,” Magnus says quietly, like they're trading secrets. “But you, Alexander… you've unlocked something within me.” 

 

Alec's breath escapes him shakily. “I'm sorry,” he whispers, because he  _ is.  _

 

Magnus’ seriousness bleeds into amusement, his lips curling up. “Why, darling, you're perfect, aren't you? As well as tired. Won't you stay? Luke will need more healing through the night; would it be too much to ask that I pull on the bond we share? My magic is being used a lot more frequently recently.” 

 

“I- I should probably go,” Alec admits, hoping he doesn't sound as disappointed as he feels by that. 

 

“Perhaps you should,” Magnus agrees, spreading his hands, flashing Alec's name in a way that would seem innocent from anyone else, “but alas, that's not what I asked, is it?” 

 

Alec swallows. “I can stay a little longer. Just- just not too long, okay?” 

 

“Certainly!” Magnus brightens and nods solemnly as if he's swearing on his life. “You can keep me company whilst I wait for the hours to go by before checking in with Luke. We can… talk.” 

 

“Talk,” Alec echoes, blinking. “Yes, that. Just- that's all. Talking, not- just the talking.” 

 

Magnus’ answering smile is not a smile at all, more of a smirk. “Of course.” 

 

They talk late into the night. Alec tries not to lose himself to it, but Magnus is just so…  _ intriguing.  _ Everything about him, from his favorite color to where he lived in 1882, is like the next chapter in a really engaging book. Every new fact feels like a cliffhanger, like he just has to keep turning the pages because he needs to know more. 

 

This is his comfort zone. They don't talk about him, not so bluntly. Magnus covertly needles information from him, but is quick to smooth it over with facts about himself. There seem to be endless vaults of knowledge Magnus has to offer; Alec wants to open every single one. He tells himself it's just that Magnus is the literal definition of history - he's lived so long, seen so much,  _ anyone  _ would be curious. 

 

But if he's honest with himself - which he rarely ever is - it's more than that. It's how Magnus talks and regales his stories, whole body moving and gliding like he's finely tuned to music no one else can hear. He's pretty, ridiculously so, and flashy; there's not an ounce of shame in anything he does. Magnus Bane is so effortlessly  _ himself  _ and Alec desperately envies him for that. 

 

When Magnus breaks away to go check on Luke, he tells himself to leave. He's drowsy already, sore from the events of the day, a dull headache setting up shop between his temples. If he relaxes, he'll fall asleep and he knows it. 

 

But Magnus glides back into the room with a bright smile, and Alec is very weak. He thinks that he won't have to worry about relaxing, not with Magnus sitting close to him on the couch - not close enough to touch, but close enough that Alec can see the slight shimmer of his eyes. Magnus is pretty, and interesting, and  _ flirting;  _ Alec is well aware that he won't be getting any sleep tonight on principle. 

 

Despite that, when Magnus starts up a calm story about getting banned from China until he outlived those who banned him, Alec droops back into the couch as he listens. The story is humorous, Magnus speaks fondly and softly about his own antics, and Alec falls asleep without meaning to. 

 

When he wakes, he instantly regrets it. 

 

“You can't tell anyone,” he says as he fumbles into his jacket, his heart hammering in his chest. 

 

Magnus presses his lips into a thin line. “Of course, I have my own reputation to uphold as well.” 

 

“We- we shouldn't have-” 

 

“We did nothing wrong, Alec. You simply fell asleep, as did I.” 

 

“Magnus,” Alec says, then hears just how the name sounded falling from his lips; careful, anguished, far too emotional for so little interaction. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I- I have to go.” 

 

Magnus says nothing, just watches him leave with a frown. Alec forces himself not to turn back.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


They want him to marry. 

 

When Alec dreams that night, he's at his own wedding. He stands in a tux, staring out at his beaming family. He feels hands clutch his own, feels them squeeze lightly, and he turns to look. Before he can see anything, he wakes up with a gasp and Magnus’ name falling off his lips. 

 

So, he's pissed. 

 

He doesn't mean to be, not so much at Izzy. It's just that he feels as if his own life is slipping through his fingers. His parents want him to marry off for the sake of their family name, careless to whether he's lucky enough to find love or not. Jace is so wrapped up in Clary that Alec is finding it hard to recognize him. Izzy is doing  _ his  _ job, which he knows isn't her fault, but he can't help but feel inexplicably angry about it anyway. 

 

Then, after everything, he finds out his parents used to be Circle members. 

 

It feels like such a slap to the face. They dare to ask him restore the name  _ they  _ messed up? Alec wants to to fight it, to rail against the unfair circumstances. Even with so many things happening all at once - a strange new creature popping up, Lydia turning out to be a genuine woman, the endless grieving search for the mortal cup - it's like he is consumed by what he feels versus what's expected of him. 

 

He finds himself confiding in Magnus. 

 

“You are quite the sight,” Magnus comments, his eyes roaming over Alec's bare chest in blatant appreciation. Alec quickly puts a shirt on, stomach quivering under the look in Magnus’ eyes. 

 

“What are you doing here, Magnus?”

 

“I'm just here to give my official reports on what I found out about the horrific creatures on the slab, the very one Izzy is having a grand time with now.”

 

Alec huffs a laugh despite himself. “Sounds like her. But why are you giving these to me? You should be giving them to someone in a position of power.” 

 

“I am.” Magnus holds out the file pointedly, looking at Alec seriously. When Alec doesn't take the file, Magnus frowns. “You seem… wound up, more so than usual. Do you want to talk about it?” 

 

“No,” Alec replies immediately, then, “yes. It's just- have you ever- it feels like everything I ever thought about me, my family, my whole  _ life  _ is just one big lie. I've- I've done  _ everything,  _ I've given my life for this, and now… I just- I don't know.” 

 

Magnus’ face softens. “When you've lived as long as I have, you learn that life never stops knocking you down. You  _ also  _ learn that the life you lead belongs to only one person; yourself.” 

 

“It's not that simple.”

 

“Nothing ever is.” 

 

Alec wants to say that being with Magnus the other night had been simple. He wants to say that talking to him, learning about him, being near him… it's all so simple that Alec's breathless with it. He wants to say that he hates how everything to do with Magnus is simple, yet impossible.

 

Alec just says, “I'm sorry if I'm- these problems aren't yours. I shouldn't burden you with them.” 

 

“Oh contraire, darling,” Magnus says gently, flashing the inside of his wrist pointedly. “This says otherwise. In fact, this says your burdens are mine to lighten. So, allow me to try. My advice? Maybe you should start living for yourself.” 

 

“Maybe… maybe you're right,” Alec murmurs, swallowing thickly, eyes unable to tear away from Magnus’ steady gaze. 

 

Magnus smirks lightly. “I tend to be, on occasion. Now, I really must be going. People to see, money to make, you understand.” 

 

Alec abruptly doesn't want him to leave. “Wait.” 

 

“Yes?” Magnus asks, pausing from where he started backing away. “What do you need?” 

 

It's that, the way he says those words.  _ Need.  _ Like he's always going to alleviate Alec's pressure, like he's taken his job as Alec's soulmate very seriously, like it's as easy as breathing to be there for Alec. 

 

In that moment, Alec needs many things. He needs things to be easier. He needs Jace to care about him again. He needs his parents to still be his heroes. He needs Magnus to stop being everything he wants. But he can't voice that, can't explain, so he says the first thing that pops into his head. 

 

“Can I touch your hair?” he blurts. 

 

Which, that's not  _ at all  _ what he'd been going for, even if the thought has lingered in his mind since the very first time he laid eyes on Magnus. It's just that… well, Magnus’ hair is amazing. It seems to have a life of its own, wild and perfect, and Alec  _ really  _ wants to know if there's gel in it. 

 

Magnus blinks, then recovers. “If you promise not to pat it down, you can touch my hair.” 

 

“Really?” Alec clears his throat, feels his neck grow hot. “I- you'd really just- you don't have to.” 

 

“It's not exactly a hard task,” Magnus says with a laugh, whole face lighting up as he steps closer, lingering right in front of Alec. “Touch away.” 

 

Alec swallows, his heart hammering in his chest. Magnus is close enough that his breath pools over Alec's collarbone; the feeling makes Alec shiver. He can barely breathe when he reaches up with one hand and lightly pinches one small portion of hair between his fingers. It's unfairly soft, no gel at all, and Alec's palms itch with the sudden urge to drag his hands along Magnus’ scalp, feeling every strand between the crevices of his fingers. 

 

“No gel,” Alec croaks, snatching his hand back and taking a step away, sipping in little short breaths, certain Magnus must hear his heart racing. 

 

Magnus just chuckles and declares, “No.  _ Magic.”  _

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Lydia tells him about her soulmate, the one who's name faded when he died. The story makes Alec's heart hurt for her, but other things she says makes him think really hard about what he's doing. 

 

He proposes because he likes her, because it's the right thing to do, because life knocks him down but he can always punch back. When he does it, he thinks about his mom crying and trying to hide it. He thinks about the sneers that seem to follow his father everywhere. He thinks about Izzy, forced into doing things she doesn't really want to. He thinks about Jace, who's losing himself to all of this, to Clary, to what he believes is right. 

 

He thinks about Magnus. It tears him up inside, but he does. Because, as much as they might  _ want  _ to, they can never work. Their lives are too different and they have far too much space to cross to make it to each other, space that consists of the Clave, of Alec's own repression, of Magnus’ feelings about Shadowhunters, of what's right and what's wrong. They can't meet in the middle, Alec knows that, so he does what's right for everyone. 

 

It's easy because Lydia is great. What other people don't get to see is that she's more than just some woman who's come in to throw a wrench in their plans. She's a person, she has feelings, she deserves to be treated right. Alec can do that; he will. 

 

It's hard because Magnus makes all of that obsolete. What no one knows is how Alec's completely enamored with him already. He tries to deny it, tries to fight it, tries to pretend it's not true. He almost convinces himself. Soulmate or not, Alec has a duty and he can't allow emotion to cloud judgement. 

 

Everything feels so skewered now. 

 

He and Jace are on opposite sides, which is something that has never happened. He's already past crushing on him, well aware that Jace is something else entirely. The feelings he has for Jace are vast and heavy, and when you've spent your life being told that feelings like that aren't supposed to stop mission, you can get kind of confused about what it means. Alec was confused for a long time, sure that Jace was love, because it  _ had  _ to be, because Alec likes boys and he never wants to be without Jace. But, after Magnus, he realizes that Jace is pretty and he means the world to Alec, but Alec doesn't want Jace like he's wanted Magnus. Simply put, Alec is a gay mess who doesn't know any better. 

 

Alec can't dwell on that because he and Jace are on outs right now. He uses that bitterness to fuel him and keep him on track. He does not falter. 

 

Until he does. 

 

“Well, that's that on the wards,” Magnus chirps, falling into step beside him. “I… wanted to see how you were doing. You seem tense.” 

 

Alec sighs. “Focused, actually. Thank you for- for coming to reinforce the wards.” 

 

Magnus’ laugh is light and floaty, like music to Alec's ears. “Well, I  _ am  _ getting paid. Though, I must admit, my true price was something else entirely.” 

 

“How can people pay your price if you don't tell them what it is?” Alec asks, amused. 

 

“Well, if one's price is a sheltered desire and selfishly hidden, people usually pay unknowingly.” Magnus slows to a halt, stopping to stare at him with slightly wide eyes. “I- I wanted to see you again, Alexander. Just to lay eyes on you.” 

 

All of Alec's amusement gets clogged in his throat. A light tingle skitters over his skin, careful and unavoidable, and Alec can't  _ breathe.  _ Magnus is completely sincere, just open and honest. He doesn't seem to care that Alec was brisk with him earlier, doesn't seem to care that anyone could walk up at any given moment, doesn't have an ounce of shame. Alec wants to lick those words right out of Magnus’ mouth, but he knows he can't. 

 

He has to tell him. He has Magnus’ name on the inside of his wrist, a wedding in the works, and his life should be, by all means, falling apart. But right now, he feels as if everything has just come together for this one split second where Magnus wants to see him more than he wants riches. And he knows he has to open his mouth and ruin that. 

 

Alec tries to be gentle. “I- I wanted to tell you something, Magnus. I'm getting married.” 

 

“Um, that's fast,” Magnus says, taking a step back and blinking. “Soulmate or no, I prefer to be wooed before a wedding. Perhaps we can go on a date first.” 

 

“No, I- I made a choice, to do the right thing.” Alec takes a deep breath. “You told me to start living for myself, and that means taking into account of my own life, so I… proposed to Lydia.” 

 

Magnus flinches as if he's been slapped. “You- oh. You're getting married. To Lydia.”

 

“It's the right thing,” Alec repeats, something sharp twisting in his chest. 

 

“She's not your soulmate.” 

 

“Me and Lydia, we make sense. It's- it's a solid partnership; my family's name will be restored. When I thought about it, when I thought about my future and- and  _ us,  _ I realized that this is the only outcome where it's right. Even you said that no one's guaranteed a perfect love story, Magnus.” 

 

Magnus stares at him, his throat working. “I also said that if two people found something together, it would be wrong to avoid it.” 

 

“I'm sorry.” Alec doesn't know what else to say. 

 

“Well,” Magnus murmurs, taking in a deep breath, looking full of regret, “if this is what you… need, I won't stop you. Good day, Alexander.” 

 

With that, Magnus turns on his heel and walks away, his head held high. Alec watches him go and tries to tell himself that he's doing the right thing. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


“I'll do it, for a price.” 

 

Alec grits his jaw, averting his eyes. There's something on Magnus’ face he's never seen before. It's bitter, harsh, cold. Alec knows he's angry, but this makes it hard to breathe. 

 

Alec's angry too. Jace and Clary are missing, something is wrong with that Mundane, and Izzy is about to be on trial. Right about now, Alec can't care about what he and Magnus are doing, or not doing in this case. All he cares about is Izzy at the moment, so it's hard to have any sympathy. 

 

“Name it. Anything you want.” 

 

Magnus looks at him, lips parting. Alec knows what he's going to say before he says it. Even in the midst of everything falling apart, the thought makes his heart thump unevenly in his chest. 

 

Magnus spreads his hands open. “You. In fact, I'll do you pro bono.” 

 

Alec sucks in a shuddering breath. His chest aches. He wants to say yes. He  _ almost  _ does. He knows how it would play out, how Magnus would press into him and take his prize, how Alec would enjoy every single second. He'd clutch at Magnus and fall apart, and it would be the best thing he'd ever experience. 

 

But it would not last. They'd get dressed and they would have to go back to not touching. Alec would go back to his  _ fiance  _ and feel shame for the rest of his days. He'd crave Magnus until he died. Magnus would ask him to come back, Alec would do it. 

 

Alec can't do that. “Anything  _ else,”  _ he says sharply. 

 

“There's little else in this world that I want besides you at the moment, Alexander,” Magnus replies, just as sharp, his honesty his weapon. 

 

“Magnus,” Alec croaks, closing his eyes, “please.” 

 

“I'm doing this for Isabelle, not you, I want you to know that. The price is your bow and quiver, something that is ineffably important to you, something that will guarantee I will always exist in your mind. Do you accept?” Magnus murmurs. 

 

Alec almost tells him that he exists in his mind all the time anyway, but he bites the words back, just releases a slow breath and says, “I accept.” 

 

He stays true to his word, after. When Jace and Clary come through, when they save Izzy in the only way they could - even with Magnus’ best efforts and Lydia being the amazing woman she is - because of that stupid,  _ stupid  _ cup… Alec keeps his word. 

 

He leads Magnus into the weapons room and pulls off his bow and arrows. He strokes them gingerly, heart in his throat, because they feel as much a part of him as his limbs; he's been using this since he started training and to let them go… it's not easy. But Izzy is worth it, will always be worth it, and if he's honest, Alec wouldn't want to part with them to anyone other than Magnus. 

 

“Here you go,” Alec says, handing them over and sighing, “your payment.” 

 

Magnus hums as he holds the weapons to his chest, looking odd with them. “I want to tell you that I have tremendous respect for Lydia. What she did, the things she said… she's a good person.” 

 

Alec blinks. “So… you get it? Why I'm doing this?” 

 

“No,” Magnus says honestly, quietly. “I respect her, I like her, but that doesn't make this any more rational. Being with her isn't- you're lying to yourself, and you're both going to end up hurt, neither of you deserve that.” He swallows and averts his eyes. “And neither do I.” 

 

“This has nothing to do with soulmates, Magnus. It  _ can't  _ be about that,” Alec snaps, guilt slamming into him as if he's been kicked in the chest. 

 

Magnus just sighs. “Very well.” He holds the bow and arrows out. “Keep these, I'll never use them, and I don't need the constant reminder. You, however… just think of me when your shoot your arrows.” 

 

With not another word, Magnus sweeps out of the room, leaving Alec gaping behind him. 

 

But all day, throughout the rest of the wild events, Alec feels as if they're not finished. They're like a run-on sentence, going and going. It nags at him until he can't stop thinking about it, until his teeth hurt from grinding them, until he can't focus on anything else. 

 

Alec is so,  _ so  _ tired of being confused. It feels like he's been confused all his life; he just wants peace. He wants this to be finished, to find the period at the end of their sentence and finally be able to close the book. But he also never wants the book to stop, wants to start at the beginning and rewrite it, wants to clutch the book close to his chest instead of watch it go up in flames. 

 

So, he does something stupid. 

 

Alec goes to Magnus’ apartment. 

 

“I- I just wanted to thank you earlier, for what you did for Izzy,” Alec explains, even if that's not the reason he's here at all. 

 

Magnus fixes himself a drink, movements jerky instead of flowing like water. “I believe you've already done that, Alec. What is it you're  _ actually  _ here for? No need to lie to me.” 

 

“I want to explain. About me and Lydia. You're my- you deserve that,” Alec mumbles, swallowing and looking down to his shoes. 

 

“Do you love her?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“I'm serious.” Magnus doesn't seem bothered by Alec's wide eyes. He steps forward. “Answer me. Do you love your fiance?” 

 

Alec feels his mouth open and close, tries to force out a lie, but what comes out is, “I don't know.” 

 

Magnus hums, sitting his drink aside. “That's fair, I suppose. Perhaps you're simply not sure. Do you know what love is? What it feels like when you want someone?” 

 

“That doesn't matter,” Alec whispers. 

 

“Even Shadowhunters fall in love, Alec. I can make it simpler for you. See, emotions are not simple; they're not cut and dry. If anything, they're more like symptoms.” Magnus glides closer to Alec, his eyes fixated on him. “They say falling in love, just like they say falling ill; they say it because love is like a cancer - it does not discriminate, does not care about the situation, does not allow its host to avoid it, and it's nearly impossible to destroy.” 

 

“Magnus,” Alec says, tensing as Magnus drifts closer, his words soft like a melody. 

 

Magnus does not pay heed to his pleading, just starts circling him slowly. “We're soulmates, Alec. Until our dying day, we are made for each other. Tell me, does your heart race when I enter the room?” With a snap of his fingers, Magnus’ magic glides over him, making Alec's heart start to beat. “That's a fairly common symptom, I can assure you.” 

 

Alec closes his eyes and presses his hand to his chest, turning away to try and escape Magnus’ sudden new goal. “Magnus,” he whispers again, this time quieter, this time a beg. 

 

“Do I make it hard to breath?” Magnus asks, twisting around him, hovering so close. “When I stand close enough that you can feel my breath, does it make you shiver?” Magnus twists around him again, blowing out a puff of magic, warm and blue just in the corner of Alec's vision. “When I touch you, does your mouth go dry with want?” 

 

When Magnus’ fingers brush over his balled up fist, Alec rips himself away, panting as he whirls around with blazing eyes.  _ “Stop!  _ Magnus, just- just stop. You- you flirt, and you tease, and you act like being soulmates  _ means  _ something, but it doesn't! This is all just some- some sick joke to you. But to me? This is my  _ life.  _ You're asking me to risk my family, my purpose, my future,  _ everything.  _ I can't- Magnus, I can't just do that.” 

 

“I will not try again,” Magnus tells him softly, words firm as they are quiet. He looks incredibly sad, his eyes glistening, his mouth tipped down.

 

Alec turns away, shoving his hands into his hair as his heart flutters painfully in his chest. He can feel the tension in his body, like the string on his bow, pulled taut and ready to spring. He whirls around, all caution flying out the window, every intention in his body screaming at him to just say  _ fuck it  _ and take what he wants anyway. 

 

But Magnus is gone. Just… gone. 

 

Alec takes a deep breath and forces his hands to strip trembling. Even in his disappointment, he tells himself it's for the best. As he slips out of the empty apartment, he thinks he feels the beginnings of their chapter coming to an abrupt end. 

 

It shouldn't hurt as much as it does. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


If Alec were anyone else, he'd be crying right now. 

 

Jace gives the best hugs, he always has. He's broad and warm, his arms engulf, and he hugs like he craves the contact. Alec  _ almost  _ misses the days he believed there was something more between them. At this point, that would be easier. 

 

“Hey,” Jace says softly, lightly clapping him on the side of his neck as he pulls away with his eyebrow creases in worry, “what's going on with you? You're clinging. You never cling.” 

 

Alec is clinging. His left hand comes up to grip Jace's right wrist, dragging his thumb across the skin there. He feels as if he's breaking apart right in front of the person who he always wanted to be strong for. But Jace isn't judging him, just looking at him in genuine concern, his lips tipped down. 

 

“Nothing,” Alec croaks. He clears his throat, tugs Jace's hand away from his face. “Nothing, it's-” 

 

Alec freezes as he glances down as sees the slight smudge on Jace's wrist. Where his thumb had been rubbing unconsciously, a thin layer of pale foundation had been removed. It's only a bit, but Alec can see the scrawl of letters on his wrist. 

 

**_is_ **

 

That's all there is to see, just two letters that could belong to any name. It's to the right of his wrist, which means it's the last letters of the last name. The sight of it makes Alec feel slightly sick. Jace had found his soulmate and didn't say a word. 

 

“It's- it's not what you think,” Jace chokes out, snatching his wrist away and stepping back, covering the two letters. 

 

It's in that exact moment that Alec realizes what's happening. Jace is  _ ashamed.  _ The makeup, the fact that it's a secret, the way he stands tense and trembling. He looks scared, he looks lonely. Alec forgives him instantly. 

 

“You don't have to tell me.” Alec watches Jace's eyes snap up to land on his. Slowly, he lifts his own wrist and scrubs the makeup off. “I get it, whatever it is that makes you hide it.” 

 

Jace stares at  **_Magnus Bane_ ** and blinks rapidly, his lips parting. “Shit, Alec…” 

 

“Yeah,” Alec agrees in a rasp. 

 

“Does he- did he have your name?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Are you two…” Jace bites his lip, still hiding his wrist. “You're getting married tomorrow.” 

 

Alec releases a slow breath. “I- I had to do what was right. Lydia is- she's great. She's easy. Magnus is… complicated and impossible.” 

 

Jace is silent for a long time. His eyes drift down to his wrist, staring at it like he knows it intimately. There's a baleful look in his gaze when he looks down at those two letters, like he despises them, but there's something else too. Alec thinks it's hope. 

 

“I have two names,” Jace whispers. 

 

Alec blinks. “You- _ what?  _ By the- I haven't heard of that happening in years.” 

 

“One on each wrist,” Jace confirms, his lips twisting bitterly. “I hate them both.” 

 

“How long?” 

 

“Take a wild guess.” 

 

Alec doesn't have to. “This is why you've been after Clary. You wish she- you would rather  _ her  _ be your soulmate than them?” 

 

“She's not bad, Alec,” Jace says firmly, not swaying on this. “Clary is… good and light and loving. I wish she  _ was  _ my soulmate because I could love her, I really could. She makes everything worth it, makes it easier. She's my sister and I'm terrified that her name isn't on my wrists.” 

 

“What a conundrum we are.” Alec shakes his head and gives a hollow laugh. “You want someone who isn't on your wrist, but you can't love her. I want someone who is on my wrist, but I can't love him.” 

 

“Can't or don't?” Jace asks softly. 

 

Alec flinches. “Jace-” 

 

“I'm your parabatai, Alec. You can- you  _ always  _ have me, okay? You can tell me anything.” 

 

“I'm gay.” 

 

Jace just nods. “I know. I've always known.” 

 

“Can't,” Alec answers, twisting his hands together, shifting in his place. “I could, I almost do, but I- I  _ can't.  _ Do you have any idea what would happen if I just- if I did what I want to?” 

 

“Maybe you'd be happy,” Jace replies, crossing his arms and taking a deep breath. “I understand more than you can ever know, trust me. If you want him, Alec… go for it.” 

 

“Easy for you to say, you just want your  _ sister.  _ You might want to stop doing that,” Alec challenges, his insides twisting at Jace's easy acceptance. 

 

Jace stares at him with a grim expression. “The problem isn't that I want Clary, it's that I… don't. By all means, I  _ want _ to want her; my life would be so much simpler. Even with her as my  _ sister,  _ and that's really saying something. But I would rather that, Alec. Because I'm- these names- they're-” 

 

“I get it,” Alec cuts him off quickly, never comfortable when Jace flounders. “We have to do what's right for ourselves, more than anything.” 

 

“So, you're still getting married?” Jace asks, biting the inside of his lip, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I'm going to support you no matter what, but you did just tell me you're gay and halfway in love with Magnus Bane. I want you to get what you deserve, Alec, to get what you want.” 

 

“I'm still getting married,” Alec confirms, sinking into himself with a weary sigh. “Jace, we don't always get what we want; life is far too cruel. Sometimes…  _ sometimes,  _ when life knocks you down, you have to stay down.” 

 

Jace swallows thickly. “Yeah,  _ yeah.  _ I'm learning that too. So, you're gay and getting married to a woman you'll never love. I hate the names on my wrist and want them so much it hurts, but I'd rather pretend to be in love with my sister than face that. Clary and Lydia. Same song, different verse.” 

 

“They're not bad people,” Alec mumbles, wrinkling his nose as admitting that about Clary. “I'm thankful it's them, in a way.” 

 

“They make the struggle a little less painful.” 

 

“Yeah, they do.” 

 

Jace gives him a small, flickering smile. “So, back to back again. At least we'll be unhappy together.” 

 

“Might as well. We do everything else together.” 

 

“Until the bitter end.”

 

Alec's smile is just as much of a ghost as Jace's. “Right,” he agrees. “Until the bitter end.” 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Magnus is utterly breathtaking. 

 

Alec knows that's not the first thought that should pop into his head when Magnus bangs his way into his wedding, but it is. Everyone else in the room melts away, leaving only Magnus standing there looking stunning. Alec can't breathe. 

 

“Alec,” Jace hisses behind him, after asking Izzy who invited Magnus. 

 

Alec wants to reply, to say something, but his throat can barely push air out, let alone words. The room is eerily silent, his mother is pissed and heading right for Magnus, and Alec can do is look at him. He looks so long and hard that he comes to the abrupt realization that they're just staring at each other across the room. 

 

Alec rips his gaze away when Lydia grasps his hands, smiling beautifully at him. She looks so pretty; he wishes he could love her. 

 

“Hey,” she whispers. 

 

“Hey,” Alec rasps, taking a deep breath, trying to keep his lungs from collapsing. “I can't breathe.” 

 

Lydia raises a hand to his cheek with a small, gentle laugh. “I know, it's- hey, it's okay.” 

 

Alec stares down at her and thinks about her soulmate who died. She would do anything to get him back, he knows that. He thinks about what she's lost, thinks about what he has, and he knows what has to be done. He squeezes her hands. 

 

“I can't do this.” Alec swallows. “We can't do this. Lydia, I am  _ so sorry.”  _

 

“It's okay,” Lydia replies instantly, her smile waning just slightly. “I understand. Go, I'll be fine.” 

 

Alec leans forward and presses a kiss to her cheek, feels it uptick with a smile under his lips. She's so strong, so brave, and Alec wants her to be happy. He wants her to have everything he can't give her, everything he's about to go take for himself. 

 

Alec doesn't question himself. He pulls away from Lydia and turns towards Magnus, his breath immediately getting caught in his throat once again. Life has knocked him down over and over, and Alec is getting right back up because he doesn't have it within him to stay down. 

 

He's not going to be ashamed of his wants. He's not going to be ashamed of  _ himself.  _ He knows what he told Jace, he knows it was wrong. Everything was wrong, had to be, because staring at Magnus from the altar… he realizes that what they have is right. 

 

Without a second thought, he marches down the aisle, barking something as his mother as he goes. He isn't sure what, doesn't care to stop and find out. She doesn't know it, but she's as much as to blame as anyone.  _ We're Lightwoods; we break noses and accept the consequences.  _ She taught him that; he wouldn't be brave enough to break the nose life sneers down at him from, not without her. He hopes - even as he doesn't care- that she will understand one day. 

 

He's not stopping and Magnus just waits, his eyes fixed on Alec. He looks so unbearably good, and Alec wants him  _ so much.  _ It feels like eternity to finally reach him, grasp him by the lapels, and kiss him. 

 

A jolt goes through them both. Alec's wrist buzzes pleasantly, but this is more than just being soulmates. This is about their lips finally,  _ finally  _ meeting; this is them wading through the impossible and reaching each other  _ anyway.  _ It is liberating and wonderful, and Alec doesn't even  _ want  _ to breathe anymore, not if he can do this instead. 

 

Magnus’ lips against his taste like honey and feel like silk. Audience be damned, Alec kisses him deep and slow, letting it draw out between them like a pulse that syncs their heartbeats. He feels Magnus sink into him with a little groan of relief, hands reaching up to grasp his arms, arching closer. He parts his lips and lets Alec in, unyielding even as he gives himself over. Alec goes mindless with it, heady with desire and the faint victory of starting a new story here and now, one that may never end. 

 

When Alec pulls away, Magnus chases his lips, and when they open their eyes, they smile. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“Tonight's the night?” 

 

Alec turns to stare at Jace. “How could you  _ possibly  _ know that? Did Izzy-” 

 

“Dude, I'd know the  _ “I'm trying to get laid”  _ face anywhere,” Jace quips back with a feral grin, winking playfully. “How are you gonna do it?” 

 

“I really don't want to have this conversation with you,” Alec admits, grimacing. 

 

Jace pouts. “Oh, so you can talk to Izzy, but you can't talk to me? That goes against parabatai code.” 

 

“Jace, that doesn't actually exist. You made that up.” 

 

“And you'll follow the rules of it anyway. Rule thirty-six, you tell me the same thing you tell Izzy. Get with the program, Alec.” 

 

“How many rules do you even have?” 

 

“Like… over a hundred at this point.” 

 

Alec rolls his eyes. “Well,  _ fine,  _ if you insist. The only thing I talked to Izzy about was how someone knows if it's the right time.” 

 

“Oh.” Jace frowns. “How  _ does  _ someone know that?” 

 

“I guess if you're asking, you already know,” Alec replies, lips twitching. “So, yeah, if you're so interested… tonight's the night.” 

 

“Did you fill his bed with rose petals? Do you have a playlist picked out? Do you have a cheesy soulmate pick-up line? Oooh, did you-” 

 

“Please, Jace,  _ shut up.”  _

 

“Fine, but I'm really happy for you. Go get some… dick?” Jace's face contorts as it tries to decide what he feels about that. He settles for a mixture of mild disgust and pride. “Yeah, go get some dick.” 

 

“I really kind of hate you sometimes,” Alec tells him seriously, wrinkling his nose. 

 

“Oh, come on, I'm trying to be supportive!” 

 

“You're such a- a  _ straight.”  _

 

Jace's mouth pops open. “Are you- did you seriously just try to insult me by calling me straight? Because I'll have you know, that's actually a little offensive to just  _ assume.  _ I could like dick, you never know.” 

 

“You do not like dick,” Alec deadpans. 

 

“I don't like  _ your  _ dick,” Jace corrects with a little huff of laughter. “You don't know what I do in my free time, so shut up.” 

 

Alec purses his lips. “Rule sixteen of the fake parabatai code states that if one of us demands honesty, the other  _ has  _ to give it. So, be honest, tell me how you  _ really  _ feel about… you know.” 

 

“Dick?” Jace prompts wickedly. 

 

“Yes, that.” 

 

“Okay, sure. Dicks are great. I like them. Well, it depends on who owns them. You know what else is great? Vaginas.” 

 

Alec nearly smacks his hands over his ears, glaring at Jace. “I'm  _ gay,  _ don't you remember? Please never say that word again; it sounds weird coming from your mouth. Also, I'm never following rules from the fake parabatai code again because you just lied.” 

 

“I didn't, actually.” Jace's face suddenly drains of amusement. He looks serious and grave. “I really do like guys, some of them. And girls.” 

 

“You're bisexual?” Alec asks, blinking. 

 

Jace shrugs. “Yeah.” 

 

“How'd you- I mean, when did you know?” 

 

“Let's just say that the names on my wrists aren't exactly giving me a choice in the matter.” 

 

“Men?” Alec blurts, eyes going wide. 

 

“Men,” Jace confirms with a sigh. 

 

“Both of them?” 

 

“Yep.” 

 

“Wow. Why didn't you say anything? You know I wouldn't have- you know I'll never judge you,” Alec says, voice softening. 

 

“It's been a pretty shitty time,” Jace admits with a sigh, crossing his arms, closing himself off. “There wasn't anything to say; there still isn't.” 

 

“Will you ever tell me the names?” Alec asks quietly, eyes flicking to Jace's wrists for possibly the thousandth time since he first saw then. 

 

Jace frowns. “Probably not.” 

 

Alec wants to push, even though he knows he has no right to. It's just that… well, Jace is weird about his names. Alec supposes that makes sense, especially considering they're both boys. If Alec is honest, he  _ really  _ didn't see that coming. 

 

Before Alec can come up with something supportive to say, his phone chimes with a text from Magnus. Alec beams at the message, his heart doing a little flutter now that he knows Magnus is home. 

 

“I- I've got to-” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, go get your dick.” 

 

Alec snorts. “Shut up.” 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Being Magnus’ soulmate  _ and  _ boyfriend is not without its trials and tribulations. They've had so many snags at this point that Alec thinks it's a wonder they've finally managed to make it here. It wasn't easy getting here; sometimes, it still feels surreal. Alec doesn't regret a damn thing. 

 

As soon as Magnus opens the door to his loft, Alec pushes himself in and starts yanking on his jacket. Magnus greets him as he always does, with a bright smile and happy eyes. 

 

“Is Jace here?” Alec asks pointedly, even though he knows he isn't. “Simon? Anyone?” 

 

Magnus’ eyebrows shoot up. “No, no one's here. I don't know when my home started collecting strays, but I try not to make it my business to keep up with them while they're away.” 

 

“Oh, please. You have stray cats; you're like the expert on strays. But I'm glad they're not here.” 

 

“And why is-” 

 

Alec kisses him, gripping his face and pressing into him eagerly. His heart is racing in his chest, lips tingling, a languid warmth stirring low in his stomach. Magnus makes a little sound in the back of his throat, breaking away with a light laugh. 

 

“What?” Alec asks, blinking around the lust already fogging his mind that quick. 

 

“What's this all about?” Magnus asks with a cute little crinkle to his eyebrows. “You're being very…  _ abrasive.  _ Not that I mind, but-” 

 

“I was just thinking,” Alec says, swallowing. He doesn't know how to word it. He just blurts, “Sex. I was thinking about sex, and doing it, with you I mean, and I- I want to.” 

 

Magnus blinks. “Oh. Are you- Alexander, are you certain? There is no need to rush. We can work up to it, we can wait, we never have to do it if you don't want to.” 

 

“Do you not want to?” 

 

“Sex… changes things. And while there are a number of things I would like to do with you and  _ to you,  _ I-  _ we  _ are happy, and I don't want to lose that. Or you.” 

 

“I want to do everything with you,” Alec admits, hands reaching out to grip Magnus’ waist, fingers digging in. “You're my  _ soulmate,  _ Magnus. You can't lose me; I won't let you.” 

 

Magnus’ throat clicks audibly as his eyes flicker down to Alec's lips. “My resolve is crumbling frighteningly quick.” 

 

Alec grins. “Good.” 

 

With one kiss, Magnus gives in. He hums in approval as Alec starts guiding them to the room, busting through the door with breathless laughs. Alec is so eager, so  _ ready,  _ and he is having a hard time getting out of his shoes as they stumble for the bed. 

 

It's an amazing thing, kissing Magnus. It's heady, addicting, and Alec is pretty sure he could do it forever. He can easily forget that there's a war, that Jace doesn't feel at home in the institute, that Izzy looks so weary and sick these days, that Valentine is still trying to tear the world apart. None of that matters, nothing does, not with Magnus gasping in his mouth and dragging him down to the bed. 

 

“Shirt, shirt,” Magnus groans, desperately tugging at the hem of his shirt, breaking away from the kiss with gold dusting his warm gaze. 

 

Alec scrambles to get his shirt over his head, fumbling as Magnus smoothly slips out of his. Alec then works on his belt while he toes each sock off, mouth watering as Magnus pulls his necklaces over his head and lets them hit the floor with a dull thud. Alec has a hard time getting out of his pants while he watches Magnus shimmy out of his, their legs bumping, their eyes roaming eagerly over each other. When they're in nothing but their underwear, Alec dives back into the kiss breathlessly. 

 

Skin on skin is  _ immaculate.  _ Alec has no idea why they haven't done this before now, why they didn't do it as soon as they laid eyes on each other. 

 

And okay, that's the arousal taking over. Alec knows  _ exactly  _ why this didn't happen as soon as they met. But the man he was when he fought craving Magnus seems like a lifetime ago. That Alec never went on dates with Magnus, that Alec didn't buy him a gift for no other reason than because he  _ wanted to,  _ that Alec was so scared of this that it's almost comical now.  _ This  _ Alec is desperate for it. 

 

Magnus’ rings are cool against his heated skin, dragging down his chest, over his arms, exploring hungrily, leaving goosebumps trailing after them. Alec want to kiss Magnus until he can't breathe, but he also wants to join in on the exploring. 

 

Alec explores with his lips. Trailing wet nips over Magnus’ jaw, tonguing at the soft skin of his throat, lightly biting the meaty arch of flesh when Magnus shudders and tilts his head back. His mind grows hazy, lips grow brazen, tonguing down his neck, sipping lovingly at his collarbone. Magnus lifts one hand and buries it in Alec's hair, hissing in pleasure as Alec sucks hard and wet down his chest. 

 

Alec tilts his head up, placing his chin on the smooth flesh of Magnus’ stomach, panting. “What can I do? Tell me what I- tell me what to do.” 

 

“Anything,  _ anything,”  _ Magnus breathes. 

 

Alec has his hands in the waistband of Magnus’ underwear and unveiling his dick in seconds. Before Magnus can say a word, Alec sucks him into his mouth, breathing harshly through his nose with determination pouring through him as Magnus makes a strangled choking sound. Alec has never done this before, but something blistering within him wants to prove to Magnus that he can do it anyway, that he can be good at it too. 

 

Magnus moans, which is such a wonderful sound, and Alec feels power course through him. He knows Magnus wants him, knows that Magnus likes this, but with Magnus writhing beneath him and yanking slightly on his hair in mindless pleasure, Alec feels wanted in a way he can't explain. 

 

Then, as sudden as anything, Magnus sits up and tugs him up and off by his hair, dragging him in for a kiss, licking the taste of himself out of Alec's mouth. 

 

“Magnus, why'd you- was I-” Alec tries to speak between the kisses, but Magnus does not seem to want him to. “Magnus,  _ Magnus.”  _

 

Magnus breaks apart and reaches down to start pushing frantically at his underwear. “Oh, my darling Alexander, how I want you so. You're perfect, so utterly perfect.” 

 

“I wasn't  _ done.”  _

 

“There will be plenty of that later, I assure you. But for now, I am going to ride you so well that you'll never lay down without imagining me on you.” 

 

Alec blinks, wheezes a breath. “O-okay. Yeah, I- yeah, I'm okay with that.” 

 

Magnus presses a firm hand to the middle of Alec's chest and pushes, sending Alec to his back with a little  _ oomph  _ of surprise. Without preamble, Magnus leans down to snatch Alec's underwear clean off, tossing them over his shoulder. Slowly, holding Alec's gaze, he works each ring off his right hand and lets them fall to the floor with his discarded necklaces. Hand free of jewelry, he snaps his fingers and a bottle of lube appears in his palm. 

 

Alec's heart does funny things in his chest when Magnus expertly flicks the bottle open and pours lube on his fingers. He sucks in a sharp breath when Magnus reaches out and slides a smooth grip over his dick, grip tight but perfect, not too slow and not too fast, wrist flicking to add a little twist as if he's plucked Alec's preferences from his brain. 

 

“I'm going to worship every inch of your body,” Magnus tells him without an ounce of shame. 

 

Alec bites his lip and presses his head back into the pillows, fingers gripping the sheets tight, watching in an entranced fashion as Magnus’ fingers roll over his dick like he's about to start doing magic. 

 

“Magnus,” Alec chokes out, trying to breath, trying not to curl from this feeling of pleasure. 

 

Magnus pulls away, leaving Alec bereft. Then, he scoots up to his knees, spreading them wide, giving Alec the perfect view. It's not until Magnus’ lubed up finger reaches around and disappears into his own body that he realizes what Magnus is showing him. He knows his eyes go wide, knows his jaw drops, but he can't help it. Magnus looks like some kind of exquisite perfection, head thrown back, body arching, left hand - still full of rings - braced against Alec's hip to hold himself steady. 

 

It is undoubtedly one of the filthiest things Alec has ever seen with his two eyes; Magnus makes it look  _ pure.  _ Alec watches intently, filing it away for later, planning to do it himself soon, imagining it happening to him, vowing to find out. 

 

It ends far too soon in Alec's opinion; he could watch Magnus finger himself for days. However, he doesn't have time to miss it. Magnus fluidly crawls over, body moving lazily and seductively, making Alec's brain falter for a moment. With his chest heaving, Magnus swings one leg over Alec's hips and lifts himself up, grasping Alec's dick. 

 

“Don't buck up,” Magnus warns dazedly, licking his lips as he angles himself where he needs to. 

 

Then, achingly slowly, Magnus lowers himself on Alec one inch at a time. His eyes drift closed, lips parting, a flush rising under his honey-colored skin. His head lolls back, fingers bracing on Alec's chest and digging in, and Alec has  _ never  _ seen anything more beautiful than this. 

 

Alec wants to tell him this, but he's seconds from having a fucking  _ brain aneurysm.  _ There are no words to describe just how euphoric this is. Hot, tight, perfection envelops him, taking over all his senses, leaving him a choking, garbled, trembling mess. 

 

“Oh my god, oh my god,  _ oh my god.”  _ Alec chants, hands scrabbling for purchase at Magnus’ hips. 

 

Magnus huffs a soft laugh, eyes peeling open to reveal his Warlock mark. “You're part Angel, Alexander. Lucky for you… blasphemy just got added to my long list of kinks.” 

 

Alec whimpers. 

 

Magnus takes pity on him and rocks his hips slowly. Alec can feel the motion under his hands, is entranced by the smooth roll of waist, like this is a dance Magnus wants a perfect score for. He starts slow, leaning forward to lift off him and sink back down, rocking easy and gentle. 

 

Alec feels as if all the air has gotten savagely knocked from his lungs. He loses himself to it, groaning unabashedly, nails digging in and urging Magnus to go faster. Magnus indulges him, nails scratching down his chest, black nail polish looking neat and erotic against the red marks. 

 

Things unfurl into a frenzy. It takes almost no time at all for Magnus to show off how well he is at this. He moves and fucks better than anyone in the world; Alec knows this without a doubt and he's never been with anyone else. That doesn't matter - after this, Alec is screwed anyway, literally and figuratively. No one will _ever_ compare to Magnus, not that they did do begin with. 

 

Alec eventually can't stop himself. He twines his hands around Magnus and snatches him down to his chest. Magnus pants in his ear as Alec digs his heels into the mattress and slams his hips up rapidly. Magnus moans low and lost, hands trapped between them. He wriggles one hand free and lifts it to Alec's chin, pressing his thumb between Alec's lips. Without thinking twice, Alec sucks on Magnus’ thumb with abandon, twirling his tongue, feeling the ring there against his lips, his hips never faltering. 

 

Magnus’ other hand slides down between their bodies, the lube making it slightly easier. Alec can feel him wrap his hand around his own dick, the fast jerking motion happening right against his stomach. Magnus’ thumb drags out of his mouth, gliding down his chin, hand curling loosely around his throat. He caresses, then squeezes ever so gently, releasing and adding pressure against his pulse points intermittently. As his grip grows tighter in increments, lasting longer and longer, Alec's head starts to get a little light and fuzzy, but that makes the sensations he feels much more potent. 

 

Their orgasms are snatched from them violently all at once, the names on their wrists burning hot with an intense pleasure, and they both release a shout when they fall apart against one another.

 

It is, hands down, the most intense orgasm Alec ever experiences. His vision whites out as he presses into Magnus deep and clenches every muscle in his body. Magnus does the same, body locking up, his hand still jerking between them with no rhythm. They ride it out together, as close as they possibly get, and Alec is sure he doesn't breathe for a solid minute. 

 

When it's over, Magnus goes limp against Alec and presses a weak kiss against his chest, right over his heart. Alec just holds him and lets his legs straighten out with an flop, both of their breathing slowing as their sweat cools on their skin. 

 

“That was- that was good,” Alec manages to say, his voice a croak. 

 

Magnus slowly lifts his head. “That, darling, was worlds better than  _ good.”  _

 

“We're a mess,” Alec comments, amused. 

 

“Nothing a little magic can't fix,” Magnus tells him and waves a hand as he rolls off of Alec and sinks back into the bed, his hand sparking. 

 

Alec blinks at the sight of his own fingers glowing a earthy green. “Um… Magnus?” 

 

“Yes?” 

 

“Does- does this usually happen when you sleep with people who aren't Warlocks? 

 

Magnus turns to look at him, his eyes going wide at the sight of Alec's fingers sparking with obvious magic. “What in the-Alec, how do you feel?” 

 

“Amazing.” Alec gives a little laugh, lifting both hands and watching them spark. “Magnus, this is- what  _ is  _ this?” 

 

“Magic,” Magnus replies in awe, rapidly cleaning them with a snap of his fingers and leaning up to stare at at Alec's shimmering fingers. 

 

“But- but  _ why?”  _

 

“I… I might have an idea. I will return shortly.” 

 

Alec barely pays Magnus any mind as he darts out of the room completely naked. He distantly hears a cat shriek, but he doesn't care. There's a warmth in his veins, pulsing strong and pure. The magic dancing around his fingers swiftly change from green to pink to blue to purple and back to green before going through all the colors again. 

 

Alec feels elated, feels  _ amazing.  _ He has no idea what's happening, but he feels like he would float if he got up and walked. When Magnus slips back in with a leather bound book that looks far too ancient to be any good, Alec briefly looks away from his fingers - only for a moment. 

 

“Magnus?” Alec asks softly. 

 

“There is an old legend that has not been spoken about in many centuries. It is reserved for seelies, mainly,  _ but  _ it has been known to happen outside of them on rare occasion.” Magnus sits down on the bed with a small frown as he flips through the pages of the book. “I have seen it only thrice in my many years of life, all of which were seelies.” 

 

Alec sits up on his elbows as his hands glimmer much like Magnus’ do. “What is it?” 

 

“Some soulmates form such a connection that they take on things from their counterpart,” Magnus says carefully, sitting the book down and tapping a passage on the page. “It's common among the fair folk because they're so in touch with nature and form intense connections much easier.” 

 

“Are you- does that mean-” 

 

“What does your soulmate mark feel like?” 

 

“It itches.” Alec turns his wrists over and blinks at Magnus’ name. “It's red and irritated.” 

 

Magnus hums. “A common side effect of the new bond; it will pass, supposedly. Most soulmates that garner this new bond are of the same species, but I saw a seelie and a vampire form this bond once. The seelie took on some of the vampire's traits, such as speed and being better at night. The vampire also took some of the seelie's traits; she could go out late in the afternoon and only suffer a horrific sunburn for it, as well as she struggled to lie.” 

 

“So… the magic?” Alec asks slowly, blinking down at his hands. “I- I got some of your magic?” 

 

“No, I have lost nothing. In fact, I have gained. I'm assuming that what magic you have is your own.” 

 

“What did you get?” 

 

Magnus purses his lips. “The ability to carry your weapons, cross wards that forbid those with demon blood, and possibly even take on runes.” 

 

Alec tapes at him. “All of  _ that?  _ I just got magic! Wait, is that all I got?” 

 

“There is also… immortality,” Magnus whispers, his eyes dropping down to the book. 

 

Alec stares at Magnus in confusion. He'd think Magnus would be excited about that, if anything, but Magnus just looks as if he's about to get punched. It's a lot, that's fair. And Alec's still amazed at having  _ magic,  _ but the prospect of them… living forever  _ together  _ makes Alec's heart swell with hope. 

 

“Why do you sound sad?” Alec asks quietly. 

 

Magnus flicks his gaze up. “Alexander, you do realize that could mean you live for centuries, just as I have. Alone, watching everyone you love die.” 

 

“No,” Alec retorts sharply, sitting up and scooting forward to cup Magnus’ face. “No, I  _ won't  _ live like that because I will have you. My soulmate.” 

 

“You're so calm about this. How? You adjusted to this new connection so easily.” 

 

“Honestly, Magnus, after everything I have been through, everything  _ we  _ have been through… I've learned to roll with it. And if I'm honest, this doesn't actually make me feel  _ bad.  _ What's wrong with having my soulmate, forever and always?” 

 

Magnus swallows, his eyes glistening. “Whatever did I do to deserve you, Alexander Lightwood?” 

 

Alec huffs a short laugh. “Well, Magnus Bane, that was left up to fate. Why don't we do more research, figure out what's going on, see what we need to start planning for?” 

 

“You're always so reasonable,” Magnus tells him softly, lips quirking up in delight. 

 

“Yeah, and you're always right.” 

 

“I am usually, yes. What was it this time?” 

 

“You did say sex changes things.” 

 

Magnus laughter warms Alec's heart, makes him go soft with adoration, and in that moment - sitting naked on the bed, facing down yet another wild change in their life - Alec knows that he should have never been worried about what made Magnus his soulmate. 

 

Whatever it is, it was right. 

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a second installment of this! 
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoyed reading! Don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and please leave a comment; I do so love them! 
> 
> Ta!
> 
> -SOBS


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